While I cannot empathize with Rodriguez’s plight as a darker-skinned man, I can sympathize with the emotional repercussions of body image. He states that he “becomes divorced” from a body he is unhappy with. I think this is a common sentiment for children (or people, for that matter) who are upset with their own bodies. The disconnect from yourself, the knowledge that you might be “happy” in a sense, but you’re not happy with who you are, is a dichotomy of emotional turmoil.
Being raised in the heart of the Amish country didn’t bring me much in the way of cultural diversity, but unlike many people’s perceptions of more conservative, rural areas, I was raised to respect all races, religions, creeds, etc. One of the most hurtful things I’ve ever heard was a black girl on my hall freshman year telling me that she had just assumed I was racist, hearing where I was from. My parents were exceedingly tolerant people, and raised me to be one as well. However, I think being raised in such a homogenous area bestowed me with a latent kind of racism, just the unfamiliarity of certain kinds of people makes me curious, fascinated with types of people I’ve never encountered before. I suppose sometimes this over-interest could be construed in the wrong way, however, I am confident in myself and my belief that anyone who would take five minutes to get to know me would realize that my interest is harmless and hardly derogatory.
I find it fascinating that the remarks about his skin color that make the deepest mark on Rodriguez are not the slurs he hears on the street but the ones he hears at home as the women talk about their desire for light-skinned children. Statements like this make me believe that perhaps truly the worst form of racism is that which a group inflicts on itself. But is this true? Is this even racism then? Or should it be “allowed,” overlooked like the appropriation of the N-word in the black community or the tolerance-reversing appeal of Jersey Shore?
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